The Core Challenge and other ramblings

Hello, beautiful people! Yes, I know it's been a long time, and it's probably because I'm a fat lazy pig who just doesn't feel like blogging. BUT I'M BACK. And today I'll be talking about something that I've been working on.

For those who know me, I am a big insecure mess about my body. I don't really care whether or not people think I'm skinny, because to me, I. am. just. not. And the worse part? I'm always sooo hungry. I keep eating, I'm like the snack monster and oh how I hate it.

It was so much better in Secondary School when I was much of a loner and nobody would tempt me to eat rubbish. I could diet as much as I wanted and stick to it because I could. But now, even though I'm blessed with wonderful friends, I end up eating more because they love to eat. It doesn't help that there's a McDonald's in my school either. *sobs* Now don't misunderstand, I love my friends, but I wish they could understand and motivate me so I don't always feel like a jiggly fat blob.

Oh yes, what I'm working on :

Ta-dahhh. A church mate of mine introduced me to this 100 day challenge. I've been doing it for two weeks, and I guess I do feel a bit more fit than usual even though I don't really see any difference in my body. I really pray it works though cos 'm just desperate to slim down.

My biggest problem with this workout would be the side plank. I just can't. I feel like I'm crushing my arm all the time and it hurts sooo bad. So what I do is that I use the cheat method and just balance on my knees instead of on my toes like the woman in the picture. The entire workout takes about 15 minutes or less if you do everything consecutively. But sometimes I get so tired I just stop halfway and take a few minutes break.

So yes, that's what I've been doing.

And another thing that's been affecting me is the parents-and-boyfriend issue. They just don't accept him. Even though I'm supposed to come back and talk to them about it, I'm just so scared of rejection that I can't bring myself to. I know they care about me but I wish they would respect my decision.

I'm not a bad daughter. I do my best to make the proud. I try hard. I've always listened to them, always stuck to my moral values, even though it cost me many friends who were valuable to me because I couldn't do the things they did. Why can't they just support me on this decision. Sigh..

Whatever tricks God is playing, it's making me feel shitty on the inside and on the outside. Every day it haunts me. When will this be over. WHEN.


Good luck to me.

Samantha.